Happy Halloween!!!!

This is my favorite little pumpkin. Isn't my niece the cutest! I just love her and I'm so glad she came to all of us - life is a miracle. And if I could make a suggestion for a guaranteed spirit lifter - go hug a baby then eat a couple of peanut butter cups - mmmmm. To see more pictures of this fabulous little soul you can visit here.

Pansies

Winter pansies survive the cold and in my case the crazy squirrel that digs daily in my little planter. Clearly he's not intimidated by the fluffy clawless fat cat that sits on my porch. So I cut a few and painted this little painting. Then, framed it using a map from one I bought in Paris 7 years ago and printed it on this great banana paper that makes everything look old that's printed on it. I'm very pleased with the end product (price and size in for here).I had been working for several weeks on this large watercolor collage commission of some of the historical homes surrounding Lafayette Square. So these little pansies were lots of fun. Commissions always stress me out - love 'em, need 'em, but am extremely concerned with the final product and that is very inhibiting as an artist. You would think after all these years, I would find a place of ease and peace with painting - but I certainly struggle with that little critic in my head that says "Come one Amy, really... you're an artist?" He's a sneaky little bugger too. Anne LaMott wrote a great book called Bird by Bird (a writer's classic) on the art and act of writing and the challenges a writer faces. It's a fun read and certainly can be applied to any artist. I think I need to dig my copy out.

So back to Lafayette square - BEEEEautiful. I really really really hope to live in that part of town one day. I love the tall majestic French brownstones. After New Orleans, this place screams French. And when you walk along the old brick sidewalks for a minute there you might think you are in France. Needless to say, it's a great place to walk around and even better place to paint. I have several paintings in the works, but haven't finished them ...yet.

100th post!!!!

Can you believe it!?! I actually have written 100 posts. The funny thing is that when Jen(the woman who designed my website, www.GerAmyum.com) was setting up my site she told me about blogging and wanted to know if I wanted to set up a link to a blog. I shook my head and thought I would have no interest in blogging and certainly didn't want to put the time toward "writing in space". I mean, on some level blogging is just a mystery - I really have no idea who reads my blog or how they find it. But I have to say, I REALLY have enjoyed writing and posting my paintings. And I've received some of the loveliest comments from people all over the world. WOW! I'm blown away! When I started blogging I decided that my blog would be about what makes me happy and inspires me as an artist and in turn I hoped to inspire others to find the creative spark in them - because we all have creativity stirring with in us. And, most importantly I would try hard not to be too whiney... because BOY can I whine.
So if you've been reading my blog - thank you! And in celebration and thankfulness for this blog and the people that take the time to read it and comment, I'm going to to have a little giveaway of this original geranium watercolor painting (7"x8"). So if you want to enter in the drawing please e-mail me your name and address, I will write it on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Then on Friday, November 7 I will draw a name and send it to the winner the next day. Exciting, huh? You can only enter once, I will confirm that I got your info. You can enter by e-mailing me at amy@geramyum.com. Can't wait to see who wins!!!!

Aware

The AIM of life
is to live,
and to LIVE means
to be AWARE
joyously
drunkenly
serenely
divinely
AWARE

- Henry Miller

A Settling In

You can't go outside without a jacket now. The leaves are showing their colors, finally. And I expect next weekend to be nature's Fall Festival. I need a second blanket on the bed, however I'm determined not to turn on the heat until November 1st. The air and light tells me change is coming and winter is inevitable. It's time to settle in and prepare for the cold months of cozy indoor living ahead. This will be my first FULL winter in nearly 7 years and there is a sense of dread, uncertainty even. Heck, I'm a flower painter - there just aren't many flowers in winter. Perhaps this will push me into areas I've not explored before. I am interested in loosening up and not painting so tightly. I recently met a fabulous artist here in St. Louis - Marlene Lewis. Her work is so full of life, color and freedom. That's where I would like to travel as an artist. I'm hoping to push those limits within myself soon, maybe this winter. I just might not have a choice...

It's been a rough week not just for me, but most of my friends - jobs, health, matters of the heart... I've had a hard time painting this week, and I think everyone who does any craft has a hard time creating when life doesn't seem to be cooperating with your plans, hopes and dreams. After all, when you create you are saying, "look something from nothing!" And quite frankly I've been wondering what can redeem this nothing, these losses, these questions and uncertain times. Press on! Do just a little! I finished this fall still life this week. With very little hearts and even less hope. But still, it was an act of hope and faith which dried up my tears and helped me start a new project.

"42"

Want more information about this 4x6 inch original watercolor?
Click HERE

Just watching, waiting but hoping????

I've run out of words today. Both in my ability to hear them and say them. Sometimes pictures will just have to do when words just can't seem to take care of pain or express joy or even ask the questions.
Several years ago I bought a fish for BabyKitty to entertain her. But mostly she was just enchanted by this little fish. She liked to watch it not sure what to think of it all. I gave this painting to a friend in Los Angeles last year for her birthday. For some reason, this was her favorite and I wanted her to have it. This woman has an amazing sense of style, a great sense of humor and has really gone through some hard life situations. I was just flattered that she liked it. Currently she's going through some health issues - which are really "life" issues. What next? What should she do? How? When? But forget about the "why" question because that will never be answered with any satisfaction. This picture kind of reaches in and like my cat and the fish, all we can do is watch to see what happens next. What else is there left to do?

Saturday Nights Online

It's Saturday night and I just got home from celebrating a friend's 40th birthday. I'm usually not a night time blogger. I'm more of a morning writer, but my mind is heavy with lots of thoughts and even worries. Lots of political and economical discussion tonight and I felt a bit guilty even eating out with the complete uncertainty of what's ahead for us here in the U.S.A. Are we stumbling or is this a fall? I purposefully have not watched much news or even the debates - yes, how very ostrich of me. All this just makes me worry and being of the artist mentality does not help during these uncertain times either. As one friend said to me when we were talking about the Meyers Briggs personality tests, "You're an off the charts 'feeler', Amy". Great...

So upon my return from the night's "festivities" I looked at my blog and noticed the jump in visitors and I realized that there are probably lots of people searching on the internet for understanding, answers, hope or maybe just plain distraction from all the buzz. Here we all are wanting some hope, some beauty, something other than the questions. So I offer you this... CREATIVITY... and that takes many, many forms - not just in art but in math, in economics, in psychology and I thank God above for the diversity of creativity. Just when I don't think I can paint any better or learn something new, I'm always surprised at what comes out. So yes, it looks rather bleak right now, but just know that there are many creative souls at work in this world for the good - how it works I don't know, but I believe it does. My part remains the same, I still paint because it's what I know to do. I would do it if no one ever saw a single one of my paintings or if I never sold one either. I paint, I remember, I hope...

This is my latest painting of the "feet" of the Eiffel Tower. I would love to be in Paris again - this would be the perfect time of year. But for now this is what I have and it will do.The "Feet" of the Eiffel Tower

Apples in Four Parts

So this is actually Four 4"x6" paintings. I wanted to paint something a little fun, a little different. You know, watercolors are not boring. I'm always trying to find new ways to make watercolor painting fun and different. I'll frame them and hang this "bowl of apples" on my wall in my kitchen I think. Then, I'll eat a crunchy apple dipped in peanut butter....

Happy Monday?!

Peachy Pink

Well, not sure if it's a happy Monday yet. It's too early to tell. But I think my newest geranium will at least help you move in that direction.

Last week I started working at this great floral shop in Clayton. I just love the atmosphere and being around flowers all day (pics to come). THANK GOD FOR FLOWERS!!!!!! This little job has been fun, but the best part about being having a little structure in my generally free spirit non-structured life is that it requires me to be more conscious of my time and getting things done. I really do get more done when I have more to do. Sounds strange.

Also I'm getting close to reaching my 100th Post here on GerAmyUm. I have no idea who reads this besides my mom and dad. But please check back in the next couple of weeks because I'm going to be giving away an original watercolor of a geranium of course!!!!

A Place to Nap

Last night I was too tired to sleep. So, I stayed awake and just played around with ink from one of my fountain pens and watercolors. I was surprised and liked it. Love to use water soluble inks in my work - they always bleed nicely. Now I wish I could take a little siesta outside in the garden of this little Italian country home zzzz.....

9:00 a.m. Tuesday - Already Overwhelmed

My mind rushes a million miles first thing in the morning. I'm one of those people who really don't need coffee to wake up. I love the morning and I have the most hope and energy during this time and also a complete lack of reality. If I make a "To Do" list first thing (which I often do), it's ridiculous. No human could complete this list by themselves, perhaps with a team of assistants or clones, but not alone. Still, I write these lists. In the last few months, I've started saving them. 1. They are comical and 2. I really do get the things done on my list. But, I just forget about them because I've already gone to another list... It's much like praying. One day during a conversation with my dad (a minister) I declared with a great deal of emotion and certainty that "God didn't really care much for me and I don't even know why I bother to pray - he just doesn't answer my prayers..." blah, blah, blah, sniff, sniff, blow nose and wipe eyes... You get the picture. Now this isn't a post on religion, God or theology and I have all three in my life on some level and not always correctly. These things do play into my thinking, my art and even my understanding of who I am, so I really can't ignore or separate my life into neat piles. So, back to the point, I do pray... if that's what you want to call it. Of course my father reminded me that my prayers have been answered, I just managed to forget about them because I have new requests or in my case demands. He told me I should write a just a few of the most important things down and pray about these things and keep the "list" somewhere where I won't lose it and can come back to it. So I have a list of three things that at this point in life are very important to me and on some level is all I worry/pray and plea to God about. I feel as if I've sent God his "To Do" list. But will he do? Ahhh and so I treat prayer the same shallow way I do my daily to do lists...This is a picture I did of Noah waiting for the water to recede and in many ways a picture of faith and patience. On a good day I have a quarter cup of both. For some reason completing what's on the list is an indication of my ability and in God's case, His caring for me. So what do we do when the list sits there with nothing crossed off. I pretty much feel bad and say all kinds of nasty things to myself and I'm sure this same attitude seeps into my thoughts of God. But have I ever thought that just because the things aren't finished today, doesn't mean it's not in process. Just like Noah praying for dry land, it happened but not instantly. Who knows what God was working on while everyone sat crammed on that boat.
For the last couple of years I've been praying the same three things for my life. 1. A home with a garden 2. A husband and 3. Making a living with my art. (in no particular order - because the order changes with the weather) I have worked hard and come so close to all three but never to the point of crossing it off the prayer list myself. Perhaps it an answer to prayer when you know that only God could have made that happen and no amount of hard work or personal effort could have brought the answer. That's when you know its from God.
Okay, enough of the spiritual side of life today. On my to do list is to finish another painting for the GerAmyUm book and complete a painting I started of Lafayette Park and make beef stroganoff. That's it!

Remembering September 11

I Saved a Life Tonight

By Amy Woods

(September 12, 2001 - 1:30 a..m.)

I saved a life tonight

Covered with ash, eyes blood shot and unseeing

What happened?

I was just going to work

Same as always

Never the same again.

I saved a life tonight

Hero in yellow with so much to carry

So strong, so able -- promising life

He climbed to hell and I ran down to heaven.

15, 23, 46 flights, thousands of steps

Sweat smelling of hope running down his back

Heavy breath then …

Able no more.

I saved a life tonight

Unable to take another step

Exhausted and red unable to breathe

I slung her over my shoulder

Ran like a tiger. Strength from God.

I saved a life tonight

Alone in my room – safe and comfortable

Close my eyes. I can’t watch anymore.

Why?

Why!

And in the night, now still with no sound.

I heard the voices grow. Each asking “Why?”

I found them and carried each to his home

Mother, Father, Wife, Husband and Child

Crying with joy

Holding their own.

And when I was through

Nothing was left

But steel, ashes and

Four twisted jets

And the "Whys" piled high in the middle.

I wrote this seven years ago after an entire day of watching the news alone. My husband at the time was not in town - he was a federal marshal and I'm not sure where he was called to but I was keenly aware of how alone I was. I had not cried the entire day but then around eleven that night, finally broke down when I watched a young reporter lose it on air. I'm really not a poet but for some reason I wrote this and this is the first time I am sharing it. I took this picture of the Twin Towers on my first visit to New York City in 1996. I went there on a Saturday - not a soul was there and laid on the ground and looked up to take the shot.

I will never forget September 11.

Chicago - Michigan Avenue Painting

For some reason this watercolor took a painfully long time to paint. Late last night I finished it and was just relieved to be done. I'll probably do some touch ups as I look at it on my easel the next few days. I was inspired by the loose watercolor work of one of my favorite artists, Childe Hassam - he did many cityscapes with flag paintings and there so loose and watery. I could only find this one example on line - it's an oil, but it gives you an idea. I love his painting of flowers and he too had an eye for that red geranium. Another favorite. That could have been me sitting at the window you know.

Meditation

I seek the sources of refreshment,
sustenance, and healing
that my spirit, like my body,
is constantly in need of.

I am made whole again
- my self is given back to me -
in solitude and silence.

So now I seek to silence the word and thought
by being conscious of the sounds around me,
or the sensations of my body,
or my breathing

I am energized by love.

So I recapture
and relive
the times when I felt loved,
cared for, and treasured.

And I see myself going out in love
to friend,
to those who are in need,
and every living creature.

I come alive in times of creativity.
(--From Anthony De Mello's book Wellspring - A Book of Spiritual Exercises.)

This past week has been very oppressive. I'm weighed down by the pain and burdens of other and have been truly exhausted. I found this book a friend gave me and was drawn to this particular meditation especially after such a heavy, strange and sad week. There is so much noise in my head. In some ways painting can be meditation for me. I know that sitting in a garden among flowers creates a peace and solitude I can't seem to find anywhere else. So, when I can't get to a garden, I hope this painting will bring me back to my afternoon in the St. Louis Botanical Gardens.