October 19, 2008

A Settling In

You can't go outside without a jacket now. The leaves are showing their colors, finally. And I expect next weekend to be nature's Fall Festival. I need a second blanket on the bed, however I'm determined not to turn on the heat until November 1st. The air and light tells me change is coming and winter is inevitable. It's time to settle in and prepare for the cold months of cozy indoor living ahead. This will be my first FULL winter in nearly 7 years and there is a sense of dread, uncertainty even. Heck, I'm a flower painter - there just aren't many flowers in winter. Perhaps this will push me into areas I've not explored before. I am interested in loosening up and not painting so tightly. I recently met a fabulous artist here in St. Louis - Marlene Lewis. Her work is so full of life, color and freedom. That's where I would like to travel as an artist. I'm hoping to push those limits within myself soon, maybe this winter. I just might not have a choice...

It's been a rough week not just for me, but most of my friends - jobs, health, matters of the heart... I've had a hard time painting this week, and I think everyone who does any craft has a hard time creating when life doesn't seem to be cooperating with your plans, hopes and dreams. After all, when you create you are saying, "look something from nothing!" And quite frankly I've been wondering what can redeem this nothing, these losses, these questions and uncertain times. Press on! Do just a little! I finished this fall still life this week. With very little hearts and even less hope. But still, it was an act of hope and faith which dried up my tears and helped me start a new project.

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