Christmas holds so many different emotions. For the kids its full of excitement at every corner and just plain old fun. My memory of childhood Christmas' seems almost magical. Some point - probably around college Christmas became stressful - really stressful. I remember my freshman year of college - my first time living away from my family I got sick during finals. The barfing kind of sick where I was up all night over a toilet bowl or beside it even when there was nothing left inside of me, I kept on trying. It felt like my body was trying to rid me of my stomach itself. I'm sure that anything that wasn't fastened inside my body would have come out. (Yes a little too graphic for a nice watercolor blog I know) and my floor RA took me to the emergency room but found nothing - just stress.... hmmm what do I do with that? How do I fix that? So through the years, Christmas time probably has been the most stressful time of year for me and many others. I have no answers to solving this dilemma. I guess the painting does help. But I find I'm too busy to paint, to think, to be. I become Amy "Super Doer".
This Christmas I'm missing my grandpa. It's been nearly three years since he passed but I notice his absence more than I did right when he died. I painted this angel on the hymn we sang at his funeral "Angel Band". For so many Christmas is a blue and dark time. I hope that somewhere in the darkness you find a shimmering star. Just look... you will find it.