April 7, 2008

Another Door Closes or Rather - SLAMS!

I was in Nebraska last week with my boss. The meeting went well. And as I'm driving my boss back to his car, I was informed that
"due to economic difficulties your position will be eliminated."
I can't see straight and here I am trying to navigate in the rain while tears of unbelief and shock run down my face and in my head is this stream of random thoughts.
... but I just moved to St. Louis for this position how will I pay my bills and the house I wanted to buy - this means NO HOUSE (more tears) I'm going to miss my flight back to St Louis in this rain (I have a 3 hour drive back to Omaha airport) stop crying just stop it now! I hate Nebraska you can paint but I'm not good enough yet - but I want my own house no house ... and around and around this tape plays
Perhaps it's time for me to delve in with all I have and take this artistic risk and do it , just do it .
I'm taking the week to NOT think about it. I will spend some time at the botanical gardens and paint and just try to take a break from work, travel and decision making to just BE Amy the artist, not the sales rep or the single gal or an unemployed person.

Sheep pictures always seem so peaceful to me. I've painted a handful and let very few go just because I like them. I set this one out so I can see it more and when my spirit gets fluttery and nervous I look at it. Yes, art can calm a worried heart.

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